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Writer's pictureNancy A Shenker

Who's That Team Member Who Gives You Grief?


Our theme at SOS this month is "Difficult Bosses & Employees."



But many of us have "mis-hired" or been in a position to work with people who get on our nerves, let us down, behave "badly" (as in taking credit for others' ideas or grandstanding in meetings), or otherwise make us a little miserable when we have to work with them, oversee their work, or even just ZOOM with them.


However, I don't purport to be a people expert, so I contacted other leaders to learn how they interview and deal with situations when employees simply don't perform well in their roles.


"Watch for the red flag phrase, 'But we've always done it this way.' That mindset spells trouble. We once had a brilliant employee who resisted every new initiative. Rather than showing her the door, we challenged her to lead a redesign project, which ignited a transformation and her approach to innovation. But not every story has a happy ending. We've parted ways with talented people who couldn't keep pace. It's painful but necessary."

  • Katie Devoe, CEO, CBD Nationwide


"Some key ingredients to avoid poor performance include clearly defined roles and success criteria. Employees need good leadership that communicates how the organization's goals impact the employee's specific needs. Take corrective action quickly...make sure people can be successful in the roles you've defined."

  • Darrin Murriner, Co-founder, Cloverleaf


"[When interviewing] ask questions like 'Tell me of a time when a decision you made pushed you and others into a problem. How did the other people involved react to the situation?' I don't ask how it got resolved or what their takeaways were. My interest lies in the person's response to other's discomfort. When reviewing performance, "Listen to what employees say. Are they always the heroes in everything they do? Get to 'we' faster. We can all be difficult colleagues, but becoming 'we' is the antidote."

  • Margaret Ricci, Cultural Strategies, LLC


"A 'bad' employee is one who finds themselves in a mis-fit situation or who does not have what they need in their role to be successful."

  • Sara Lobkovich, OKR Coach, Career Fulfillment Coach, and Future of Work Activist at Red Currant Collective


"Warning signs include evasive answers, unwillingness to make eye contact, not paying attention during interviews, or focusing only on one thing (like compensation or who they will report to/report to them.) Singular, intense focus suggests that the person has a specific agenda which may not align with the job."

  • Dr. Diane Rosen, Hiring Expert and Career Coach and President of Dr-Squared Consultants


"As a senior leader, I have hired more than 200 people, from interns to recent grads to other senior leaders. Hiring is like gambling. It's a 50/50 shot. Come to think of it, the odds might be better in gambling. Over the years, I learned to listen to my gut and the hairs on the back of my neck. Those lessons were hard learned."

  • Cheryl L. Mason, JD, TEDx speaker, author, and CEO of Catalyst Leadership Management


"I led a U.S. team at a Fortune 500 company and had a defiant, toxic employee on the team. I was specifically hired to create and unite the team and, of course, this employee posed a challenge to everyone involved. Reset expectations, follow through on accountability measures, and demonstrate that the team's interest and success are ahead of leadership success and individual success."

  • Sandra White, Consultant, Advisor, Mentor at SchiSandra


Dealing with others on team projects can be challenging. This book has helped me at various stages of my own career. Tattling to HR or ganging up against the difficult person is usually not a great long-term solution. Good leaders will encourage teamwork and mediate in situations where groups have conflict.


If you ever find yourself in a situation where you suspect YOU might be the difficult employee, immediately address the situation with your management and seek coaching.


Listen to feedback and embrace it with gratitude and positivity (even if you don't always agree with it). Be open to self-reflection and consider your "fit" in a particular environment. Sometimes, a leader or culture may just not be right for you, so don't be afraid to change your behaviors—or move on!


SOS thanks you all for your great contributions to our first-ever expert panel! We plan to publish more articles like this and are always open to new topics and guest contributors!





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